Butt Grease

I was originally going to call this post urine splash, butt it just wasn't as fun to say out loud as butt grease.

Butt grease.

There, now you can say it and claim you were just reading. You're welcome.

Do not get me started on urine splash.

What is butt grease, anyway? My intention is to get through this crappy post without using any profanity. Wish me luck, I'll need it with this crap. I will do my best to defil... define butt grease. I'll begin by clarifying that it is not lubrication, butt can contain trace amounts of lube, depending on day and date as well as mood, one can imagine.

I share a bathroom with 2 men. One is disabled and the other is just old and messy. I am not paid to clean off butt grease, butt others are. They do not. They cannot keep up with the frequency of but grease. I just misspelled butt grease. Have I typed butt grease enough yet? I've certainly cleaned enough of it.

Butt grease.

Butt grease is the speckled shadow cast by the upper rectal area of a man or woman's butt (yes, you too ladies) on the back of the toilet seat. It consists of tiny bits of fecal matter, natural (and/or not) oils and fabric from clothing. I imagine there can be bits of toilet tissue as well. My imagination is rich, butt its rewards... not so much. Butt grease is left behind (chuckle) when you use the toilet. Even if you shower daily, the butt grease will defy your schedule and scoff at your routine. It is relentless. Nothing will stop the butt grease. Not even urine splash.

If I need to use the restroom, I have two choices. Wait until some time into the next day when the cleaning person gets around to maybe cleaning off the butt grease, or clean the butt grease off myself. Everyone should clean off their own butt grease. Again, they do not. I do, or I could just resign myself to sitting directly on another's butt grease. I will not, so I clean it myself. Am I possibly overreacting? Probably. Do I care? No. Why? 

Butt grease, that's why. Don't make me post pictures. 

I bet you thought I'd end this post with a solid "@#$% yeah! I made it through without cursing!", but if you did, you'd be shitting wrong.

Butt grease.